Western cultural values and patterns have historically dominated how the ideal nuclear family recipe should look: blend one masculine ‘white’ man with one feminine ‘white’ woman, add a dash of honest to goodness true love and you will produce a perfect little ‘blue’ prince and a pretty little ‘pink’ princess for the ultimate mess-free nuclear family dish. This tried and true recipe is guaranteed to last forever if you stick to the recipe andrefrain from adding any unnatural flavours or spices.

But life has little to do with having the perfect family, living the dream, or keeping up appearances and more to do with embracing life as an ongoing process of change that shifts from one kaleidoscopic multi-coloured pattern to another. Once we begin life, we can never go back to “the way things were” at some earlier moment in time, nor can we predict how the future will unfold.

And like the ever-shifting colours in life’s kaleidoscope, love (in all its many forms and stages) is constantly evolving depending on circumstances and life experiences. There are very few absolutes in life but what I believe in all certainty is that we enter into relationships hoping for a better not worse outcome, families are rarely functional, gender is never secured through a simple pink and blue colour palette, and it is not who we love but how we love that ultimately provides us with a life recipe that is rich in flavour, colour and taste.

– Kate Newby